R.O.B.: The First
Idiotic Accessory
R.O.B. is an acronym for
Robotic Operating Buddy, a name that sounds like it didn't come from
Nintendo but the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation (as in
the Douglas Adams novel The Hitchhiker's Guide to the
Galaxy). In fact, R.O.B. could have been sold by the SCC as
"your plastic pal who's fun to be with." However, instead of being
what Nintendo described as an artificial intelligence with "Genuine
People Personalities," R.O.B. was a 10-inch-tall plastic robot sold
with certain models of the original Nintendo Entertainment System
(NES).
The U.S. gaming market was still going through a depression in
1985, which was when Nintendo planned to release the NES in the
United States. It was a bad time to discuss video games with
retailers. Nintendo thought that if the NES was marketed as a
"robotic game system," it would be seen as more than a simple video
game system and thus would be more appealing to the market.
So, R.O.B. was born. According to the R.O.B. manual, it would do
three things:
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Nintendo thought that if the NES was
marketed as a "robotic game system," it would be seen as more
than a simple video game system.
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1. Grasp and release
objects.
2. Raise and lower objects.
3. Rotate and carry objects to the left and right.
These objects could include spinners or blocks when the proper
"arms" were attached. R.O.B.'s eyes received light signals from the
TV, which told it which objects to manipulate. R.O.B. also featured
a holder for the NES's second controller. By pushing the
controller's buttons, R.O.B. sent signals back to the NES.
Even with an accessory this lame, the NES went on to revive the
video gaming industry. However, R.O.B. had little to do with the
system's success. It was available only with a relatively small
percentage of NES systems, and it's rare to find one today. Its
status as a tragedy is further confirmed by the fact that only two
games were produced for it: Gyromite and Stack Up.
The final nail in R.O.B.'s plastic coffin was a list of usage
precautions that read as though it came from a home welding kit. The
final warning in the manual states: "CAUTION: The Gyromite Robot
Game Pak includes a gyro and gyro spinner. Misuse or mishandling of
a spinning gyro can cause physical injury."
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